Days came and passed..

The past week has been fine for me...got encouragement from friends after my..erm..'lack of motivation' posts...and really thank u guys for all that!

Mum and Dad have been overseas for the past one and a half week...(they just knew when to go for their holiday.) Haiz..every exam period, i always longed for some nutritious home cooked meal by mum but guess i have been missing these cooked meals for the past three end of sem exam period!..Sick of instant noodles and takeaway..finally went grocery shopping on friday...also trying to destress myself away from revision..Oh man! grocery shopping is tough! i mean i just bought stuff for me and my bro...like fruits and some vege and meat(that would probably last 2-3 more days) n i have trouble carrying them...can imagine my parents who went to the market on every sunday hav to carry all the stuff including e breakfast! Guess i shd try to make it a point to accompany them to e market at least once a month bah...(well..its been really a long time since i accompany them to the market - i did it when i was REALLY young- and sunday morning is like my bball session u see...)

Cooked myself a decent dinner i would say..(still room for improvement...)Haha..guess my bro who ate din complain much except for the fishy smell of e small shrimp was too overwheming for him..yeah but did enjoy the process of cooking..since its also been a long time that i like fry some vege or cook some soup.....then watch 'Wild Hogs' on channel 5...totally hilarious!haha..yup...so basically i din study much for the day...haha onli in the morning and night cause aftn went grocery and chess game with master zhou (been having aftn game series with him lately)...and yup cooking in the evening...

Was telling my friend that if you are gg to ask me what i did lately/most of the time iwould reply, mugging (alittle), napping (quite alot), and folding clothes...-since my mum is not around and my lazy bro is too obessessed in making money and always complained that he is just plain tired to do anything (and ironically he went chionging ytd night all the way till this morning..Thanks BRO!) n I HATE folding clothes...n ironing my clothes....

Nth much to blog about today tho...same studied awhile in the morning and slack my whole aftn through....finally touch my keyboard after a week..great..gg to barely pass for my 'final' keyboard exam this coming tues...haiz..

(oh ya!back track alittle, went to play bball on friday with my 损友 who also are in the midst of their examss as well(cause they jio me to play)....BUT i totally enjoyed it cause is played 5 a-side full court rather than the usual half court 3 or 4 a-side ...n yup hasnt really play since i sprained my ankle last month..then it kind of set me thinking whether i should try out and see whether i can make it to the team(my sengkang csc) and play some competitive game cause..that's one of my goal as well? since missing out of the bball team during sec n jc...But i'm m gg away for the next three months!cant train with them and competition is in sept....and i m only coming back in aug...haiz...okie that's one of my worries but not the main concern...haha of course..firstly, qn is whether i have the cut to be selected anot...n 2nd my physical condition as well especially my ankle..(was totally sore even tho i barely played very hard that night?)..But yup deep down i hope to make it for trial lar..but has little confidence in myself to do so everytime..anyway..see how it goes when i come back from the states!

Back to today...Had a mini dinner celebration for my grandma's birthday..alot of my relatives din turn up...guess..its exam period and kind of last min as well...but still i had a good time...haha my aunt was like..'U having exam?then u still come?' I was 'Wah..exam also must eat one right...and special occassion ma...haha..(deep down i was like..if i stay at home.. i also slack)'...Was walking grandma back home after the dinner and she suddenly popped,"去找女朋友".. I was like" wah..婆婆...u r so random..other cousins including my bro ard u dont ask u ask me...okie lar..cause i was walking alongside with her..so i guessed she could only ask me.."Haha.. i could only say like...'在找，不如你介绍啦。"She was like" aiya find someone u like la..." n guess my other cousin who was infront of us overhead what we said n she started to like talking about this horoscope calculation thingy to see whether u n ur 心目中的对象 are compatible anot..and the only thing is..is only valid for a year..i was like" a year?aiyo...so poor validity and sounds unreliable - (sorry psy 的老毛病有来了..)" everyone was like providing her the info needed n asked her to calcuate for us.. and my bro was fed up with my grumbles.."aiya for fun onli ma..u dont believe then u still ask her to calculate for u..." =X...

Guess its quite a lengthy post!haha..kind of forgot i m still in the midst of examS!!!shit...haha..but..i m already like thinking wat i m gg to do for the next sem! - find tuition!cause past one whole year..no income and i totally overspent my allowance..n my savings are like dwindling FAST! JiaLat! - take some dance lesson? maybe if cheap bachata class is offered in nus i might pay for it n refresh it.. - choose to join another interestgroup in nus or try out for the my constitutency bball team?..Ha! see how it goes....

(imagine having this guy singing this song in a ballroom with you n ur loved one dancing?..truly amazing..)

是否....

是否..我太在乎自己的缺点，以致忘了我本身早有的优点..- 自信!你到底在哪里啊?

I need something/someone/some-sort/some....to look FORWARD to!

Tomorrow is the start of my exam and i have to two papers tmr and I m still here blogging. Probably the blog has turned into a place for me to vent my frustration and grumbles then blogging about fun stuff which I havent had in ages!

Kind of losing my motivation, and feeling kind of frustrated. Have i really slacked all this while? I mean, at times, i really feel that i lack the drive i used to have in many aspect, in my life and studies in particular, and i m kind of laidback now? even though i aim for honors years so badly but my actions speak otherwise. Its kind of like, "okay, i m glad that i make it (if eventually), if i dont (touch wood) then i have to make deal with it, thats life." been going through my mind. Am i self handicapping myself? I mean being a psychology major myself and knowing how goals are impt, ways in which we can work towards attainment goal etc..(and i mean to go honors years cap 3.5 is indeed a attainable goal)..i m kind of taking things far too easily and leave many of the things up to chances and destiny. Take a test for example, when i felt that i revised enough for it, and I would kind of leave it to fate and hope that the test is gonna be do-able in a sense (which i m doing it now..) I mean, shdnt i be at least trying to cherish every sec now, and try to recap/revise rather than telling myself "is my fault, shd have study/revise more, but i really tried my best." tomorrow if things dont go well? And the thing is this kind of lament and regret dont last long for me!

Okay, great. Just scrolling up and see what i had typed, kind of doesnt make sense to anyone and myself too i guess. A more simple example. "what are u gonna do after u grad?" Me: "I dont know? see how it goes?sign on if my results are cuiz. If can, go on study my masters." Clearly, i hav no goals in mind, taking one step at a time! I really need something or someone or some-sort to motivate me now!!! -forget the past, chg the old laidback self, start afresh and move forward..-

How true?

How true is that?..Guess i have done lots of my procrastination homework lately...haha..thinking about way non importance stuffs...Here's one of them..Do you believe that the day that u are born is all predestined? How true have u found yourself to be as described by ur horoscope?How different are you from your siblings, born in different months, in terms of character? And y some twins are so alike?

VIRGO MALE
You have a great curiosity about women. These fine creatures are something for you to experiment with, examine and cater to. As for sex you feel that it is an experience that should not be overlooked, providing you have the time and the desire. You are interested in anything that will further your career. You are always interested in how much money your partner can make and in turn what they do with it as you find waste to be sinful. You can come across as a father figure if your mate lets you become over protective. You will only propose or get into a committed partnership after a respectable length of time and only when you are one hundred percent sure that the relationship will be lasting. You need to feel that your mate will enhance and support your career and make your home a clean place of comfort. You offer security, reliability and faithfulness.

Had a wonderful......Day!

Was totally unproductive in studies for the past two days....But on a lighter note, i really had a lot of fun...

Join CSC last sem...truely enjoyed every min spend with the people in it and the elderly as well..

Was quite apprehensive in joining the Organising Comm for it when zx (vice chair) ask me to..(cause was afraid needs alot of commitment and stuff and moreover kanna publicity..i was like "do i have to stand at the linkway to do publicity and fund raising etc"...) in the end it turns out quite okie (hasnt need any fundraising drive yet)..nt too much of commitment and workload..Which was ideal for me lar..haha cause i join this Rsvp - regular service volunteering programme - THE SENIORS - a bi weekly basis one than a weekly basis in the first place..again due to commitment lor..haha wanna spend time on volunteering yet not too much on it...

Its been great to koe the whole bunch of them...at least i feel reallly comfortable talking to the elderly and the volunteers as well...can really see alot of the volunteers really do their utmost for the elderly during regular visits..really impressed..haha..okie i m the one slacking...haha but ya..its been fun lar..for the past sem...

Had this major outing...just few hours ago..invited some of the elderly for a walk at the southern ridges..Not a lot of our befriended elderly came..cause those elderly we helped are really old, and have difficulties walking...so they din come...those who came are from the same neighbourhood that we serve lar...but still saw alot of familiar faces like mdm chong, and mr chiu....

I truely enjoyed myself today.. loved taking pictures for them.. (and i truely believe pictures can capture the best moments and will bring back all the good memories down the road when u look at them again)...well at the same time..zi pai my self also..well i guess the whole event ran smoothly..small hiccupps here and there..but still..a great success! haha bo bian..in OC..must zi kua abit...got sense of satisfaction lor..

Still..wanna thank all my friends.. geok xiuyun xavier chersiong for all coming down to help out..din really talk to them much..cause wasnt following the main party...got to do admin stuff behind the scene...Rongsheng - really thanks for helping the us for the prep and the outing itself also...Ah boon - haha for the printing of shirt...the rest of OC...the help render to one another..Finally i think the most of the credits shd to given to my chairperson margaret..she really done a good job in aliasing, preparing for the event, actual prep till the outing itself...she's really one good leader i guess...i'm really impressed..

-enjoy the pics!-

Green, Red, Blue.....colors of the wind...

Decided to wind down alittle today..Feel kind of stress this week..knowing that my remaining tests are gonna test on the like the whole book.?Greatzz....Been going to school early and staying late in school...really feel physically tired as well..Haha symptoms of Burnout??Probably.

Rs had a performance this week in school..Sang沒那麼簡單by 黃小琥.. He sang pretty good actually...accompaniment on the keyboard was good as well..All and all.. 有feel. Really enjoyed..(well..haha..i know he is good in his vocal..but everytime he sings..I wld find that he lacks the 感动度..plus, the song by the original singer set a high standard as well...so haha..i had a rather high expectation for his performance...well at least he din disappoint the people that went down to support him!!...Really 令我刮目相看。。哈哈。。 赞!

Had my Ippt yesterday...achieved my silver target..Guess..the running in school once a week do help a little..Haha..but was pretty glad that my cousin was there to pace me as well..If not i would have slowed down in the middle of the run...Haha had a really good chat with him over dinner..and concluded that we are really 老了at the end of the day...Well..i think i hasnt really been talking to my cousins.(or i would say bonding i guess)...Is only at times during major celebration that we kind of get to see each other...and during these times..kind of like din really chat much as well??(okie i admit..i m too engross eating the food during celebration..and yes i m extremely guilty of not remembering some of my cousins name as well) But anyway...well..at least..i get to koe how's he been doing lately..

Now, I would highly recommend (for those who are reading it now) to take some time off listen to the song 沒那麼簡單and do look at the lyrics as well..haha..its really a nice song..

Bulging Tummy

Had good food lately. Totally Broke. Totally. Stayed in school till late lately, and thus spend more money on food. Friend suggested me to really go down to details where my money goes to, well I just replied him, 'Basically, no need to to break down, ALL goes to FOOD'.

Subway - botak jones + a quarter of fried carrot cake and a quarter of fried kuay teow- ichiban sushi - kuishinbo - yes that's my dinners and lunch these 4 days.

Great..so many things not done and i m still slacking...Critique not done, and tests are coming along..both physical (IPPT) and school. Oh wells thats great..

Had lunch with my some of my pals today. Same CAP as one of them. But he seems more driven and motivated to get his 2nd upper. Which means a 8 A- s to reach according to his calculation. Yes. For me too. So SHIT..Of course i have a goal in mind too..well..in psychology..a goal in mind and u work towards it, self prophecy would work. On the other end, my results are otherwise. Thus, now came the next psychogly terminology - re-evaluate and reset ur achievable target as you go along. And here goes, lowering my targets every sem, till e point that some other friend of mine was saying that it is way too low to be set as a target, you should set it higher!