Tomorrow is the start of my exam and i have to two papers tmr and I m still here blogging. Probably the blog has turned into a place for me to vent my frustration and grumbles then blogging about fun stuff which I havent had in ages!
Kind of losing my motivation, and feeling kind of frustrated. Have i really slacked all this while? I mean, at times, i really feel that i lack the drive i used to have in many aspect, in my life and studies in particular, and i m kind of laidback now? even though i aim for honors years so badly but my actions speak otherwise. Its kind of like, "okay, i m glad that i make it (if eventually), if i dont (touch wood) then i have to make deal with it, thats life." been going through my mind. Am i self handicapping myself? I mean being a psychology major myself and knowing how goals are impt, ways in which we can work towards attainment goal etc..(and i mean to go honors years cap 3.5 is indeed a attainable goal)..i m kind of taking things far too easily and leave many of the things up to chances and destiny. Take a test for example, when i felt that i revised enough for it, and I would kind of leave it to fate and hope that the test is gonna be do-able in a sense (which i m doing it now..) I mean, shdnt i be at least trying to cherish every sec now, and try to recap/revise rather than telling myself "is my fault, shd have study/revise more, but i really tried my best." tomorrow if things dont go well? And the thing is this kind of lament and regret dont last long for me!
Okay, great. Just scrolling up and see what i had typed, kind of doesnt make sense to anyone and myself too i guess. A more simple example. "what are u gonna do after u grad?" Me: "I dont know? see how it goes?sign on if my results are cuiz. If can, go on study my masters." Clearly, i hav no goals in mind, taking one step at a time! I really need something or someone or some-sort to motivate me now!!! -forget the past, chg the old laidback self, start afresh and move forward..-
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