Days came and passed..

The past week has been fine for me...got encouragement from friends after my..erm..'lack of motivation' posts...and really thank u guys for all that!

Mum and Dad have been overseas for the past one and a half week...(they just knew when to go for their holiday.) Haiz..every exam period, i always longed for some nutritious home cooked meal by mum but guess i have been missing these cooked meals for the past three end of sem exam period!..Sick of instant noodles and takeaway..finally went grocery shopping on friday...also trying to destress myself away from revision..Oh man! grocery shopping is tough! i mean i just bought stuff for me and my bro...like fruits and some vege and meat(that would probably last 2-3 more days) n i have trouble carrying them...can imagine my parents who went to the market on every sunday hav to carry all the stuff including e breakfast! Guess i shd try to make it a point to accompany them to e market at least once a month bah...(well..its been really a long time since i accompany them to the market - i did it when i was REALLY young- and sunday morning is like my bball session u see...)

Cooked myself a decent dinner i would say..(still room for improvement...)Haha..guess my bro who ate din complain much except for the fishy smell of e small shrimp was too overwheming for him..yeah but did enjoy the process of cooking..since its also been a long time that i like fry some vege or cook some soup.....then watch 'Wild Hogs' on channel 5...totally hilarious!haha..yup...so basically i din study much for the day...haha onli in the morning and night cause aftn went grocery and chess game with master zhou (been having aftn game series with him lately)...and yup cooking in the evening...

Was telling my friend that if you are gg to ask me what i did lately/most of the time iwould reply, mugging (alittle), napping (quite alot), and folding clothes...-since my mum is not around and my lazy bro is too obessessed in making money and always complained that he is just plain tired to do anything (and ironically he went chionging ytd night all the way till this morning..Thanks BRO!) n I HATE folding clothes...n ironing my clothes....

Nth much to blog about today tho...same studied awhile in the morning and slack my whole aftn through....finally touch my keyboard after a week..great..gg to barely pass for my 'final' keyboard exam this coming tues...haiz..

(oh ya!back track alittle, went to play bball on friday with my 损友 who also are in the midst of their examss as well(cause they jio me to play)....BUT i totally enjoyed it cause is played 5 a-side full court rather than the usual half court 3 or 4 a-side ...n yup hasnt really play since i sprained my ankle last month..then it kind of set me thinking whether i should try out and see whether i can make it to the team(my sengkang csc) and play some competitive game cause..that's one of my goal as well? since missing out of the bball team during sec n jc...But i'm m gg away for the next three months!cant train with them and competition is in sept....and i m only coming back in aug...haiz...okie that's one of my worries but not the main concern...haha of course..firstly, qn is whether i have the cut to be selected anot...n 2nd my physical condition as well especially my ankle..(was totally sore even tho i barely played very hard that night?)..But yup deep down i hope to make it for trial lar..but has little confidence in myself to do so everytime..anyway..see how it goes when i come back from the states!

Back to today...Had a mini dinner celebration for my grandma's birthday..alot of my relatives din turn up...guess..its exam period and kind of last min as well...but still i had a good time...haha my aunt was like..'U having exam?then u still come?' I was 'Wah..exam also must eat one right...and special occassion ma...haha..(deep down i was like..if i stay at home.. i also slack)'...Was walking grandma back home after the dinner and she suddenly popped,"去找女朋友".. I was like" wah..婆婆...u r so random..other cousins including my bro ard u dont ask u ask me...okie lar..cause i was walking alongside with her..so i guessed she could only ask me.."Haha.. i could only say like...'在找，不如你介绍啦。"She was like" aiya find someone u like la..." n guess my other cousin who was infront of us overhead what we said n she started to like talking about this horoscope calculation thingy to see whether u n ur 心目中的对象 are compatible anot..and the only thing is..is only valid for a year..i was like" a year?aiyo...so poor validity and sounds unreliable - (sorry psy 的老毛病有来了..)" everyone was like providing her the info needed n asked her to calcuate for us.. and my bro was fed up with my grumbles.."aiya for fun onli ma..u dont believe then u still ask her to calculate for u..." =X...

Guess its quite a lengthy post!haha..kind of forgot i m still in the midst of examS!!!shit...haha..but..i m already like thinking wat i m gg to do for the next sem! - find tuition!cause past one whole year..no income and i totally overspent my allowance..n my savings are like dwindling FAST! JiaLat! - take some dance lesson? maybe if cheap bachata class is offered in nus i might pay for it n refresh it.. - choose to join another interestgroup in nus or try out for the my constitutency bball team?..Ha! see how it goes....

(imagine having this guy singing this song in a ballroom with you n ur loved one dancing?..truly amazing..)

是否....

是否..我太在乎自己的缺点，以致忘了我本身早有的优点..- 自信!你到底在哪里啊?

I need something/someone/some-sort/some....to look FORWARD to!

Tomorrow is the start of my exam and i have to two papers tmr and I m still here blogging. Probably the blog has turned into a place for me to vent my frustration and grumbles then blogging about fun stuff which I havent had in ages!

Kind of losing my motivation, and feeling kind of frustrated. Have i really slacked all this while? I mean, at times, i really feel that i lack the drive i used to have in many aspect, in my life and studies in particular, and i m kind of laidback now? even though i aim for honors years so badly but my actions speak otherwise. Its kind of like, "okay, i m glad that i make it (if eventually), if i dont (touch wood) then i have to make deal with it, thats life." been going through my mind. Am i self handicapping myself? I mean being a psychology major myself and knowing how goals are impt, ways in which we can work towards attainment goal etc..(and i mean to go honors years cap 3.5 is indeed a attainable goal)..i m kind of taking things far too easily and leave many of the things up to chances and destiny. Take a test for example, when i felt that i revised enough for it, and I would kind of leave it to fate and hope that the test is gonna be do-able in a sense (which i m doing it now..) I mean, shdnt i be at least trying to cherish every sec now, and try to recap/revise rather than telling myself "is my fault, shd have study/revise more, but i really tried my best." tomorrow if things dont go well? And the thing is this kind of lament and regret dont last long for me!

Okay, great. Just scrolling up and see what i had typed, kind of doesnt make sense to anyone and myself too i guess. A more simple example. "what are u gonna do after u grad?" Me: "I dont know? see how it goes?sign on if my results are cuiz. If can, go on study my masters." Clearly, i hav no goals in mind, taking one step at a time! I really need something or someone or some-sort to motivate me now!!! -forget the past, chg the old laidback self, start afresh and move forward..-

How true?

How true is that?..Guess i have done lots of my procrastination homework lately...haha..thinking about way non importance stuffs...Here's one of them..Do you believe that the day that u are born is all predestined? How true have u found yourself to be as described by ur horoscope?How different are you from your siblings, born in different months, in terms of character? And y some twins are so alike?

VIRGO MALE
You have a great curiosity about women. These fine creatures are something for you to experiment with, examine and cater to. As for sex you feel that it is an experience that should not be overlooked, providing you have the time and the desire. You are interested in anything that will further your career. You are always interested in how much money your partner can make and in turn what they do with it as you find waste to be sinful. You can come across as a father figure if your mate lets you become over protective. You will only propose or get into a committed partnership after a respectable length of time and only when you are one hundred percent sure that the relationship will be lasting. You need to feel that your mate will enhance and support your career and make your home a clean place of comfort. You offer security, reliability and faithfulness.

Had a wonderful......Day!

Was totally unproductive in studies for the past two days....But on a lighter note, i really had a lot of fun...

Join CSC last sem...truely enjoyed every min spend with the people in it and the elderly as well..

Was quite apprehensive in joining the Organising Comm for it when zx (vice chair) ask me to..(cause was afraid needs alot of commitment and stuff and moreover kanna publicity..i was like "do i have to stand at the linkway to do publicity and fund raising etc"...) in the end it turns out quite okie (hasnt need any fundraising drive yet)..nt too much of commitment and workload..Which was ideal for me lar..haha cause i join this Rsvp - regular service volunteering programme - THE SENIORS - a bi weekly basis one than a weekly basis in the first place..again due to commitment lor..haha wanna spend time on volunteering yet not too much on it...

Its been great to koe the whole bunch of them...at least i feel reallly comfortable talking to the elderly and the volunteers as well...can really see alot of the volunteers really do their utmost for the elderly during regular visits..really impressed..haha..okie i m the one slacking...haha but ya..its been fun lar..for the past sem...

Had this major outing...just few hours ago..invited some of the elderly for a walk at the southern ridges..Not a lot of our befriended elderly came..cause those elderly we helped are really old, and have difficulties walking...so they din come...those who came are from the same neighbourhood that we serve lar...but still saw alot of familiar faces like mdm chong, and mr chiu....

I truely enjoyed myself today.. loved taking pictures for them.. (and i truely believe pictures can capture the best moments and will bring back all the good memories down the road when u look at them again)...well at the same time..zi pai my self also..well i guess the whole event ran smoothly..small hiccupps here and there..but still..a great success! haha bo bian..in OC..must zi kua abit...got sense of satisfaction lor..

Still..wanna thank all my friends.. geok xiuyun xavier chersiong for all coming down to help out..din really talk to them much..cause wasnt following the main party...got to do admin stuff behind the scene...Rongsheng - really thanks for helping the us for the prep and the outing itself also...Ah boon - haha for the printing of shirt...the rest of OC...the help render to one another..Finally i think the most of the credits shd to given to my chairperson margaret..she really done a good job in aliasing, preparing for the event, actual prep till the outing itself...she's really one good leader i guess...i'm really impressed..

-enjoy the pics!-

Green, Red, Blue.....colors of the wind...

Decided to wind down alittle today..Feel kind of stress this week..knowing that my remaining tests are gonna test on the like the whole book.?Greatzz....Been going to school early and staying late in school...really feel physically tired as well..Haha symptoms of Burnout??Probably.

Rs had a performance this week in school..Sang沒那麼簡單by 黃小琥.. He sang pretty good actually...accompaniment on the keyboard was good as well..All and all.. 有feel. Really enjoyed..(well..haha..i know he is good in his vocal..but everytime he sings..I wld find that he lacks the 感动度..plus, the song by the original singer set a high standard as well...so haha..i had a rather high expectation for his performance...well at least he din disappoint the people that went down to support him!!...Really 令我刮目相看。。哈哈。。 赞!

Had my Ippt yesterday...achieved my silver target..Guess..the running in school once a week do help a little..Haha..but was pretty glad that my cousin was there to pace me as well..If not i would have slowed down in the middle of the run...Haha had a really good chat with him over dinner..and concluded that we are really 老了at the end of the day...Well..i think i hasnt really been talking to my cousins.(or i would say bonding i guess)...Is only at times during major celebration that we kind of get to see each other...and during these times..kind of like din really chat much as well??(okie i admit..i m too engross eating the food during celebration..and yes i m extremely guilty of not remembering some of my cousins name as well) But anyway...well..at least..i get to koe how's he been doing lately..

Now, I would highly recommend (for those who are reading it now) to take some time off listen to the song 沒那麼簡單and do look at the lyrics as well..haha..its really a nice song..

Bulging Tummy

Had good food lately. Totally Broke. Totally. Stayed in school till late lately, and thus spend more money on food. Friend suggested me to really go down to details where my money goes to, well I just replied him, 'Basically, no need to to break down, ALL goes to FOOD'.

Subway - botak jones + a quarter of fried carrot cake and a quarter of fried kuay teow- ichiban sushi - kuishinbo - yes that's my dinners and lunch these 4 days.

Great..so many things not done and i m still slacking...Critique not done, and tests are coming along..both physical (IPPT) and school. Oh wells thats great..

Had lunch with my some of my pals today. Same CAP as one of them. But he seems more driven and motivated to get his 2nd upper. Which means a 8 A- s to reach according to his calculation. Yes. For me too. So SHIT..Of course i have a goal in mind too..well..in psychology..a goal in mind and u work towards it, self prophecy would work. On the other end, my results are otherwise. Thus, now came the next psychogly terminology - re-evaluate and reset ur achievable target as you go along. And here goes, lowering my targets every sem, till e point that some other friend of mine was saying that it is way too low to be set as a target, you should set it higher!

Highs and Lows...

Looking through my window and seeing the luminated kite soaring high in the night sky, with cool wind breezing through, kind of like the moment of tranquilility, really dont feel like doing anything right now, just sitting by my window. But i am kind of lagging behind what i have set to do this weekend. Oh wells...

Wasn't feeling emotionally well at the start of the week, probably due to the mid terms and kind of thinking about some past as well though. Plus, wasn't really having good sleep for the past week, keep having hectic dreams, whereby is like the dreams are kind of like very eventful and chaotic in a sense, and felt totally shagged when i woke up. And midway through school, totally concussed in the central library to catch up some sleep.

Hasn't really got back the momentum to study as well since the midterm/cny break. That feels shitty. Guess have to slowly pace myself back again. Well, had a eventful and fun weekend!Though now I m feeling kind of guilty that i might had WAY too much fun...

Played bball on friday and today as well. It's kind of like a fad or something, now wanting to focus to improve on it cause been losing competition lately..Haha..See how it goes, hopefully we can make through the next round unlike past competitions, where we cant even make through the round robin stages.

Had a really fun time out with my CSC friends. Though not many people could make it for the outing, but i feel that it wont be that fun and interactive if there were more people. Really get to know more of them, compare to like talking to them every fortnightly during visits and perhaps Hi-Bye in school as well.

We went to the 'Hangout' at Prinsep Place. Is been a long time since i played Wii (i Had one at home but i hardly play. And yup no one to play with as well!). The Razing Rabbit is totally awesome!. And yup, my poor coordination skills cause me to end up being the 'Toilet Paper' -_-!!. But was really fun! Lol. (Guilt seems to have slowly crawled back again..)

WHat a Week!

I can gladly say that this recess week is the most enjoyable recess week that i had till now. Well, tests are postponed, 'phew' if not, i am sure that i could not finish revising given this hectic week of cny. so apart from the first three days of cny, wed n thurs which is 'chu si and chu wu', spent alittle bit of time studying and glad that i did that. Cause friday and sat were hell lots of fun!

Well Friday, supposedly a gym day for me, but guess cny, give myself a break. Yup, excuses! In the end, played mahjong with my pals at my house. Hardly invite people to come my house to play mahjong because i had to move at least 50% of my things in the store room which includes two duffel bags, in order to get the mahjong table. Thus, before i can relax and play, i have already sweat like hell in moving the things.

Okay finally broke my losing streak, won quite alot during the game. After which bball. Kind of rough i guess. Tempers flared etc. Got myself injured during the game as well. Sigh. Going to have a match coming up at vivo this weekend. Great even lesser time to hit my books for test next week.

Makeshift courts again - which i kind of detest and yup think gonna lose again as well.

On sat, there is cny celebration for the elderly. It was really fun. For past events I have to take photos so i din really join in with the games etc but this time, arrowed my friend to do it. Haha. totally enjoyed myself during the games. Well the granny in blue is kind of my fav elderly cause it really reminds me of my ah ma. And there is another one called kam por, her smile is really the best and most amiable. And the elderly began to ask us to take candid pictures of them. Haha, its so funny!

After which, went to one of the elderly house and had curry chicken. It was good. And was given hongbao. When i got home at night and checked the hongbao, i was even more paiseh when i first received it. After the curry chicken, left for imm and buy stuff for steamboat with my jc classmates. Had a great time, tho i was kind of tired and hungry throughout the shopping and probably the steamboat as well. But overall was good. Talked to xiaoyan, who is gonna be the next sinseh. Everyone was like asking her to 'ba mai' for us. Check whether our bodies are like functionally properly or not. After steamboat, gambling again. Well, won some also. Guess the red + black color combi works.!

Guess as we grow older, the anticipation for CNY seems to be not as much compared to when we were younger. Doesnt really have the mood to celebrate it though. Haha, well i admit that i m ageing. Guess is also kind of routine? My aunt would visit us first in the morning cause my mum is the eldest sis. And yup took a picture with my brother and cousin. Sometimes i don't like taking pic with my brother. Haha, cause lots of people say he is more handsome!Well, true though, he slimmed down alot, really. Well there is this big field in front of my house and lots of people would often come down during weekends especially to have picnic, fly kites, play freebies etc. And i caught this lovely gigantic kite on Vdae. If any girl sees this, I'm sure it would melt the heart of hers. Well, it melted mine though. Haha. Went off to my uncle's house and guess that's the end of 'chu yi'.

Went to my mum's side on the second day. Nothing much, except that now our generation seems to have overtaken the mahjong table from our parents. Haha. Totally no luck, lost 10 bucks for just tw0 rounds and like just 10 cents and 20 cents rate?Wore supposedly to be my lucky color - black jeans - but guess it didn't work. Should have wore a matching undies tho...Then we dropped by the house of my old neighbour. Well they moved to a landed property in hougang with their own garden and swimming pool. It's really nice. Took a couple of photos there with my family. Then went back to my aunt's place again to meet up with my cousins as we were watching Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief later in the night. As for bro and parents, they went home.

Should have taken a pic with my cousins and their gfs and bfs but i forgot. Haha. Well the movie started off well, but it gets really lame and crappy into the middle and the end. My cousins said was quite good, yes, its funny, and effects were quite good, but i think the story plot was kind of shallow.

Third day of new year - went to Jm's place and 'bai nian' since i was heading to my army friend's house too. Then went back to woodlands. Totally shagged. And now sitting in front of my laptop and tv watching memoirs of geisha. Bringing all the memories of my gek module - samurai and geisha. Actually i liked the module alot. Learnt the geisha and samurai culture and of course, know that the stereotype of geisha as prostitute is kind of false. But speaking of school work, now all my tests are postponed. -_-! Its not helping me much, though i have more time to study bah. 4 tests in a week, or 3, that's bad anyway.

Christian Bautista - The Way You Look At me [with lyrics]

Losing it....

Was complaining to my friend the other day...feel kind of tired playing basketball after all these years...well..the feeling is kind of on and off...but nv really have been this long i guess...

Probably is way too long ago since i last played competitive game bah...i mean a really 5 aside game...

Been playing with my sec friends since like ten years ago..?its realli hell of a journey...totally out of our mind when we were young..played from like 3pm in the freaking blazing sun (kind of regret now cause my complexion now is way too dark) till 7pm in the evening..no kidding...followed by 2 bowls of noodles + 2 glasses of sugar cane + one bowl of desert after every session to replenish all the energy sia...

Well we still have our regular bball session on sundays morning..but was telling my friend that i feel that like kind of bottleneck....kind of nt improving already...like been playing the same own pattern and stuff until sian already..maybe we hasnt been playing with any strong opponents since we last shifted to current place to play...or probably i m sick of playing the position whenever i play with my pals......

Flashback kind of running thru my mind now..haha...like rmb the days i give crap excuses just to escape training in sec and jc...i m damn 'nua'..and freaking 'chao geink' during training..lol..still rmb kanna reprimanded my jc teacher for nt having stamina..haha...well have to admit sia..even till now run for ippt silver also got problem.....

Well..have been like trying to achieve various goals in various aspect of my life lar..like taking up keyboard lessons and even dance etc...as for bball..well altho we played like for ten years..but is like recent years in uni then we really started playing open competitions..spent on making a jersey etc...well tho been losing still..(nv got pass the first round)...i still wanna win a competition with them.and thats my goal also...(win already then can throw away the jersey and join other better teams haha..)..

Of course..think i said it umpteen times..one of my regret is that..i nv make it for sch team or wat so ever...well totally long story but yup lots of factors as well...anyway...was thinking of like playing for csc or other competitive teams but as usual the pessimistic side of mine would say there are lots of people that i far better than i m..no speed no stamina and definitely no height to challenge others.....haha plus injury sustained etc..make it kind of extra difficult sia...haha or probably i shd take up a brand new sport or activity since i m feeling kind of tired already...

An unblogged post....

-后续-

melody

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